Friday, September 12, 2008

Rambling..I should be doing the dishes before I leave!!!

Now I have to say, I have the best mom. I can even say, she is my best friend. We have weathered every storm together..hers and mine..and have come out on top. We are similar yet different and most times able to live in harmony. Her opinion and thoughts are the what I seek in most situations. Her love is unconditional. With all my minus..and my pluses she has always held me through it all! Oh and I have screwed up so many times along the way...I have to say! She never wanted to be my best friend. She never tried to be more then just my mother. She never wanted to be the one I confided in if I didn't want to. Most time, she would say..okay that's all I want to know about that. But whenever I fell, stumbled or anything, she always picked me up..dusted me off and told me, you will be fine and we faced it together. An ABSOLUTE God sent!

So of course, I can only hope to be that mother one day. She has set a great example. But in this day and age, I think it takes a village to raise a child. TOTALLY in a military lifestyle. I remember taking notes when I was old enough to know..about what things I would do when I was a mother
tell my children I love them daily
tell them that they can do it anything they work at!
Hug them when they need i
push them when they need it
I remember thinking, well eating in shifts is a great idea..that person is always keeping up with the baby...(thanks Aunty Char and Ray)
Having your house on a schedule doing task daily..helps out huge in the long scheme of thing..(thanks Brenda)
All of those small things help me be better mother!
TIVO helps me be a better mother...NOW don't laugh...I totally remember rushing my children through the bedtime routine cause Prison Break was starting at eight...Now I have no excuse but to read them a story at bedtime..two if it's not too late. Lincoln and Michael will be there for me whenever I am done. I can finish the dishes and then fold laundry while I watch my tivo..commerical free! See told you..if you don't have it get will never be the same!

In the military environment it is huge to learn how to trust people. Sometimes you really can only be in one place at one time..and with three kids on three different soccer teams, you gotta learn to lean (Thanks DF)
Until Charleston, I never had to learn how to lean. In Hawaii, there was always my mom. We need a sitter, we need a car..we need was no problem. In Rhode Island, I still just did everything. It was still easy enough. Two babies at home..and only Tyra needed to be worked out pretty perfectly
Arrive Charleston and life just started to change. Well within the last two years I have had to learn how to lean. Luckily I have found me some lifetime friends which make the leaning so much easier. I left Tyra at soccer practice, and someone else would bring her home. HUGE FOR ME! And someone else would take her to games cause the babies had a game at another location. It is amazing how hard it was for me to admit that being a "single" mother just wasn't that easy. But of course I can't let the kids suffer. They all have to play soccer. One cause they want to..and two unless you have something else to do, get your butt out there and run! But it is so hard for me to just to lean. Though I will SO be the mom to tell you, just put your kid in my car..or I will watch her while you take him to football practice. The other way around is so much harder for me! There is a small handful of people that I would let my children go with. Sleepovers are almost non existent outside of my home. Again with only people that I trust COMPLETELY. And I can name all them off the top of my head. I loved DF's excuse, we don't make same day plans. It has so SAVED me on so many occasions. But the two babies have only slept over once at someone elses house. But goodness there are only 5 and 6. But it was Karrie and her house is like my worries..and I know she trust me..cause she let me keep her baby girl of course it was cause she was having surgery..not just for fun!

So an example of my crazyness is someone asked me to carpool. Now seriously in theory it would be a dream come true. She lives three houses down and is also a military wife. BUT I have to see my children go to school. I know I I have to make sure they are on time! Which this lady leaves before me on most I know that my children will always be on time..BUT I need to walk them to class. I know I know..seriously cut the strings..but drive up drop off is just convenient for me. I have to get up a little bit earlier so I can at get presentable. But I need to see them. I walked Tyra to class until she was in the fourth grade. HOW SELFISH RIGHT! Now I absolutely do not knock any other mother that can drive up and drop off her kid. I am just not brave enough yet. But it is my single function in life to make sure my children are safe. I sure they are..but I need to unsure it! I did get brave and let Tyra ride the bus home for awhile in Charleston. But the child had a cel phone and she was 10. It is something about a child with a cel phone that makes me feel so much safer. And we use to wait for her at the bus stop. The kids liked walking there and waiting for it made for a good excuse. But finally that stopped when I heard about an incident that happened on the bus causing Memorie to run after it! I think I was already on shaking ground but that was the straw for me. I had no reason not to be at the school waiting in line for my child to come out. Except my laziness and poor time management. So now...I have let me children go to the car pick up line. I am so sure that they won't want to stay at school. I arrive 20 plus minutes even before school gets out to be fifth or sixth in line so I am waiting on my children and not them waiting on me. Maybe one day I will get over it. There is the two of them, I am sure one day I will be confident enough to let them do things, like walking to class, together without me...but not yet..not today..not this year. My baby is just in kindergarten...Can I at least get to fourth grade? And I just started letting Traysea was to her class's one half way over and then after I drop off Nanea, I sneak in and check to see if Traysea made it. Which she always does and when she sees me peek in, she waves! I know I know..but I need it! The things my children do just to amuse me!

I am off to Charleston for the weekend to hang with some of my lifetimers! Know that I love you and we will be back Monday!


Vaiva said...

Hey, I'm so glad to hear that from another person. I hear ya about walking the kids to school and stuff like that. There's so many people here that tell me to let go, get babysitters, take a break from her. I mean, she's only 9 months old!! I'm not tired of her!! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Thanks, girl! You made my day :)

Mary said...

It's hard to let go and give your children the freedom to grow up. I struggle all of the time with giving my eldest independence. I know she is perfectly responsible and capable; it's the weirdos out there I don't trust.

Your DF sounds very familiar to me. I think I might know her too. I'll have to ask you one day...